All I am going to say is that “Accidents happen”. Unfortunately sometimes they happen in disturbing ways.
This month we have a great competition for you for “Playtime with Fiona”. The competition is very simple and there are two $35 Premium Program memberships up for grabs. The first will go to the person with the best photo and funny story about crossdressing. Bernard, my photographer, will do the judging – so blame him, not me! The second of the two Premium Programs will be awarded to an entry selected at random. If you don’t pass in the photo don’t worry. We’re looking for a fun pic, and that may outweigh the glamour quality.
Be sure to send in your enties to my email – firstname.lastname@example.org – before midnight on August 31st. I will see Bernard does the draw soon after that.
I have to say, Bernard is a great photographer but can be a little jumpy at times. This is a condition that was definitely not helped by a rather unfortunate situation that developed recently. Amanda, my wife’s appalling friend, had been chatting with her on the phone looking for beauty tips. For those of you who know anything about Amanda, the queen of tweed, you’ll understand this would have to be a very wide ranging conversation. Not so much a discussion about a make over, and more about complete reconstruction.
As Amanda went bleating on, my wife idly made a note on a Post It note in front of her. “Coffee Enema.” The conversation went on and on, and eventually, when it was over, the note got left on the kitchen counter.
I would have forgotten about it, except that it somehow got attached to a notebook I often use, and just stayed stuck to the back of it for a while.
Some days later I was at Bernard’s studio doing a shoot, and when we’d finished he asked me how I manage to keep my skin so clear. I was about to answer him when his phone rang and he had to take a call. As I finished dressing I jotted down a couple of things on a Post It note. I wrote, “Facial exercises, sauna and moisturize.” Then, as I was leaving, I mouthed to Bernard “3 times a day!”
I had left my notebook on his desk, and I just slaped the Post It note onto his desk and made for the door and headed back to work at the agency.
Two weeks later I was back at the studio, and Bernard was glowing with good health and bouncing about the place.
“I am loving this beauty regime,” he ranted. “It’s amazing. I’ve never felt so energized.”
“Oh,” I said as I changed into another dress for the shoot. “I am glad to be of help.”
As I stepped out of the changing room Bernard was setting the lighting up, and taking light readings. I glanced at his desk as he busied himself with his equipment. On his desk was my note, and next to it my wife’s, saying “Coffee enema.” The notes had a big red circle around them and in Bernard’s beautiful German script beside them, the words “Three times daily.”
I thought I should let sleeping dogs lie. With that much caffeine in his system I couldn’t help wondering how Bernard was still alive, never mind sleeping.
That, however, is not the main reason I am writing. Obviously I’d love to hear your stories and see your pics. The best will likely end up on my website, so please remember not to use any real names or details that might identify anyone.
Did you know you can probe my Inbox by listening to one of my Youtube videos here: https://youtu.be/Nrkq0UAf4QU
Have a great weekend.